Got BP?

Published: Saturday, 19 Jun 2010 | 4:46 PM ET By: Reuters

It took days of very public pressure from President Obama and countless hours of private negotiations, but BP finally agreed on Wednesday to put $20 billion in an independently managed compensation fund and to provide the government a list of shareholders for public execution. After meeting with the company’s top executives at the White House, Mr. Obama also announced that beginning July 1, BP shareholders will be executed, one by one, until the gushing oil leak was stopped.

“The people of the gulf have my commitment that BP will meet its obligations,” the president declared, adding that, "[the] shareholders took their chances when they bought the shares [of the beleaguered oil company] and that now it was time to pay the consequences for their actions." Obama added that the executions would not pre-empt any claims in court.