Friday, September 19, 2008

Bail Out

I have been asked by several readers what I am doing as a result of the proposed bail-out provisions being bantered about by the powers that be. Mine is a multi-faceted approach specifically designed for my best interests, just like Goldman Sachs.

First, I have petitioned the SEC to add my name to the No-Short List. Although I have no shares, I just don't want to be hassled by anyone and I figure getting put on the list will scare away any detractors.

Second, I've asked the Fed to take over all my credit card debt, which in retrospect was a mistake, as well as to reverse or assume any of my trades taken in 2007-2008 that resulted in capital losses. Certainly my losses in these transactions are something better suited for the Fed's balance sheet then my own. Furthermore, all that credit card debt is hampering my ability to buy high ticket items on credit and if I was relieved from such a burden I could resume my vigorous contribution to a strong and expanding US economy.

Now these steps may or may not be beneficial to any one individual, so I suggest you consult with your own personal adviser, or Suze Orman, before attempting any of these strategies on your own.



Anonymous said...

Hi Allan - yes I need a "bial out" by the Fed, I was hoping they could also assume home mortgage and allow me to keep the asset.

I could not help but laugh when I read your posting, simply because how about "bailing out" the American people, instead the "bail out" is going to cost TAX PAYERS TRILLIONS of $$$.

Take care,

Anonymous said...

I agree. I had to laugh about the No Shorting of Financial Stocks Rule.

It reminds me of Nixon's "ordering" a nationwide price freeze to control inflation back in the 1970s.

John K. in DC

Trading Goddess said...

Hilarious post!

Love it!

Cruiseguy said...

luckily I bought MER and GE Calls on Wednesday....sold the MER Calls on Friday... Had to have a 125%+ gain to makeup for alot of the losses..I went short homebuilders on Friday...I do not believe they are out of the woods yet..Cruiseguy