Sundown

It's last night already.  Gets dark fast in the middle of September.  A few days ago, it was July and we celebrated my birthday by not fighting.  There was no August this year, called off, too hot. I am tired of the desert, or maybe it's tired of me. The streets are filled with a different generation, not the one behind me, but the one behind them. I watch baseball like my grandfather did and I don't smoke dope anymore.

Every day passes quickly, uneventfully, smaller then the day before.  I talk more on the phone then face to face.  There is no one to touch anymore.  I know this was not how it was meant to be.  In this part I was supposed to be smiling, that was always the plan. I should be at the ballgame, not watching it.  I should be across the table, not eating alone. I should be living, not writing.

I awoke to a lightening storm. Thunder rolling in the sky, rain waiting its turn. She was there, left over from a dream, in the new blue dress we bought last week.  Below is one of her favorite songs by one of my favorite artists.  It was so rare that we liked the same music, this one and Tangled Up in Blue pretty much covered it.  Storms like this are meant to be shared, but last night I was alone, as it was meant it to be.

Sundown you better take care 

If I find you been creeping 'round my back stairs 

Sometimes I think it's a sin 

When I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again