Waiting for my flight to Charleston SC at the Phoenix airport, a week on the beach with my daughters, on my Sprint EVDO card and Apple Powerbook, traveling alone, what a long, strange trip it's been.
My daughter Sarah graduates High School on May 26th, Charleston Collegiate School and is off to college in the fall. She has had a rough teenage period, finally set straight about one year ago and now is making me one proud papa. There are bonds and there are bonds, the bond between parent and child is such a miracle of nature, nurtured through millions of years of evolution and manifests itself, from time to time, with a cascade of tears, some wet, some invisible, but always, always, empirical proof of the existence of love.
As for your humble servant who presides over AllAllan, I have from time to time used the lyrics and words of others to communicate my travails, especially recently. Sometimes, it has been said perfectly already, so why not borrow perfection when available? You guessed it:
Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
A
3 comments:
I've finally got it! Now I understand!
The readers of this board are in no real danger until we see the lyrics of AC/DC's "Another One Bites The Dust" up here.
Stanford Cardinal #1
Allan,
I must apologize if any of my guessing is wrong and if I seem harsh -- but "tough love" is my motto.
I started reading your blog about a year or two ago, I don't even remember how I found it. I read the entry of your run in with the cop for reckless driving...anyway, you seem like a smart guy, a romantic one too.
You've mentioned Ilene many times and eluded to some woman being the cause of your moving away from your children -- "I wish that this horrid moment in my life was changed ever so slightly. That the reason all of this transpired was here so I could look into her eyes and know why mountains sometime move. My tragic hours would turn magical and we would somehow make a wonderful lifelong memory of it all. But that is not how it is. It is just me and these words." - april 2006
Ilene is smart and has given some great advice in the past. She is your "bio-tech" expert. What will happen now? You will go on, the market will go on, and your blog will go on. They must! You must!
It is clear you love her and your heart is breaking, but you have a lot to offer other women -- women who might appreciate you more. If she is the daytrading friend that went throught the horrible divorce (you mentioned some smart-ass remark her lawyer said), you and your love was probably used for stability until the divorce was over. 9 times out of 10 women don't leave a good relationship, unless they have someone already on the sidelines waiting for them. Be brave, be strong, and be true to yourself. Look for the signs - was she suddenly out of the house more often? Had she taken up a new hobby? Did she accuse you of having an affair? These are all signs she may have had someone else or was looking for someone else. If she does have someone else or is persuiting someone then don't waste another tear.
Don't waste another moment, bind up your heart and move forward! You deserve better.
anonymous, thanks for your Comment, lots to think about there.
a
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